There are many things we can learn from watching horror movies. Life lessons that we can relate to every day living that will help us remain happy, healthy and have all our limbs intact by the end of the day.
For example. When hiding from a masked serial killer, who is stalking around outside in the darkness somewhere, do not do so anywhere near the kitchen window of your hired cabin. As far as I am aware glass is not nutcase proof. If you, the protagonist, are framed in shot anywhere near a window, chances are in a few nerve tingling beats the looney will have smashed through the window, grabbed a meat tenderizer and shoved it up your left nostril.
Never answer a phone, show your boobs, have a barbeque or drink beer, all will end in your untimely demise by the most messy means possible - probably involving involving something pointy.
However, the most important thing we can learn from this favourite of genres is never, ever go into the forest, woods or densely populated copse without knowing you are probably going to end up hanging by your goolies from the tallest tree. Never go into the woods even if you are off to take a basket of food to your Grandma and show her your lovely new red cape. Don't even think about having a cheeky outside wee! Basic knowledge people.
Here is a perfect case study.
EXPOSURE (2018)
Director - Austin Snell
Screenplay - Austin Snell and Jake Jackson
Starring - Carmen Anello, Owen Lawless, Lynn Lowry and Bruce Smith
Myra and James are off to the Rocky Mountains to stay in a cabin in the woods (uh-oh!) once owned by James' grandparents. They are hoping the trip will help them mend their relationship which is on ground rockier than the territory they are travelling on. It is not hard to understand why as early on James displays behavior that would place him as a strong candidate for Mayor of Douchetown, Dicksville, Idaho.
Things are going well to start with, the couple are getting along quite nicely and even have a crack at a bit of an adult clothes off wriggle session, you know...just because. Myra, an artist, decides it is time do a spot of painting of her beautiful surroundings, so happy i she that things are going well. She admits the medium is outside of her comfort zone, and we soon learn she is not wrong. She spends the best part of the day daubing a picture of such staggering basicness she would be lucky if it earned her a gold star in Mrs O'Shaunessys primary school art class. Suddenly, she hears disembodied voices in the wind rushing through the trees. She shrugs it off as being in an unfamiliar environment.
However, tensions rise as Myra starts to believe James is hiding something about the history of the house and what happened to his Grandparents before they vacated their lovely home in the country. To make matters worse James disappears into the night, called by the mysterious voices, only to return ever more douchey than before! Slowly he begins to turn into a monster, possessed by the evil that lurks within the alluring innocence of the surrounding wilderness. Is this the dark secret he has been hiding, a monster that had done for his relatives so many years before. What will become of his relationship with Myra now that is not only an asshole, but all crusty and covered in demon spawn? Will Myra ever be able to paint a trees that don't look like lollipops?
Exposure is billed as being a throwback to the horror movies of the 70's and 80's. The kind of film you used to have to wait until the tape rewound before you could start watching. The kind of film you had to beg your Dad to drive down the shop with you to rent because you weren't old enough to get it yourself. (Kids - to translate the last sentence. Imagine having to ask your Dad to take the Parental lock off the wi-fi so you can download GTA. Same thing). It is en effective movie but does come with a few problems of a problematic nature.
The retro vibe that the film makers are aiming for doesn't really kick in until the third act. Watching Exposure is almost akin to your first viewing of "From Dusk Till Dawn", it fees like two genres thrown into one. The first hour is a relationship drama the final twenty minutes, horror. That is not to say that the beginning of the film doesn't have the occasional spooky moment or two. The whole thing is held together by a sturdy performance by Carmen Anello as Myra. She carries proceedings along nicely and anchors the story in an element of reality that is required to pull us through the more unlikely elements of the story like why Myra would be sticking in a relationship with such a complete nob. I am not sure if Carmen was using the Method technique when filming the painting scenes because we truly believe Myra can not paint for toffee. Carmen does all the heavy lifting in all the scenes she shares with her co-star Owen Lawless, if she did not the movie would come off the rails very quickly. Now my mum always told me that if I couldn't say anything good do not say anything at all. With this in mind I would like to confirm Owen plays James....and we will leave it at that.
Direction is handled well by Austin Snell who co-wrote the screenplay with Jake Jackson. He builds up tension as we head into the third act as Myra starts to uncover what James and his dark secret entale. The atmosphere peeks as the lighting changes as we head firmly into 80's video schlock territory and the movie is at it's best. The practical make up effects used on James, as he transforms into the demon that has infected him during a romantic fishing trip, are excellent. These were created and bought to life by Jake Jackson, he of script duties as I am sure you remember I mentioned earlier in this paragraph. The design reminds the viewer of the classic make up from the likes of Society and From Beyond.
The main problem is that the film never really seems to know what it wants to be before it settles on monster movie and finds its feet just a moment before it is too late. The poster has a tag line that says "Nature is a haunted house". However this isn't a ghost story, it feels like it to start with, featuring voices in the wind creepiness. Then it changes tack, James being infected by a cocoon of sorts he fishes out of the lake. Is it an alien life form? Zombie frog spawn from Hades? Then we have a scene where James' long since missing Grandfolks suddenly turn up, wondering around the woods, all befuddled, in their jim-jams, all infected and such. They must have been in there for years, and no doubt are very late for Bingo at the church hall! So now we are in comedy territory.
Again Carmen Anello brings her A game as she has to battle with herself to bring her relationship with James to a bloody end. She is certainly one to look for in the future.
Exposure is worth a look, it makes for a great after pub midnight movie. You can find it on VOD from October and on Showtime from 15th October. It would a much wiser option than going skinny dipping in the lake behind the camp councilors hut.
